“Where do babies come from, mommy?”

Nicholas asked me this question many years ago, when he was about four or five years old.

Growing up in a strict family where sex was never mentioned at all, I was at a loss for words. How do you explain this kind of thing to a very young child?

So in the end, I invented a little story to explain how we got him.

“Once upon a time, daddy fell in love with mommy. We got married. One day, we decided to have a little baby. So daddy put a little blue seed from his willy into mommy’s tummy and voila, it grows into a little baby boy we called Nicholas!”

He giggled and clapped his hands happily. He thought he was like a plant that sprouted from a seed in the pot.

“And little sister too?” he asked curiously, pointing to his younger sister who was sitting on my lap.

“Yes, this time daddy used a little pink seed and out came a little baby girl we called Alexandra!”

We both laughed and laughed, feeling happy and satisfied with my answer.

Although a bit guilty for not telling him the truth, at least it was suffice for him at that age. What a relief too that I can put this matter off for a few more years!

Like many Asian parents, I do feel shy and uncomfortable discussing something as intimate as sex with my kids. I secretly harbored a hope they could find out from their teachers, classmates or books; thus saving me the embarrassment of having to explain to them things like penis, vagina, sperms and eggs!

This question was completely forgotten until today…….

“Mommy…. Miss Chan, the science teacher, taught us about sexual reproduction this morning,” Nicholas said as he threw himself on the sofa after coming home from school.

I have noticed that chapter in his book before. So, they have reached that topic now, I thought to myself.

My heart missed a beat. “Really, did you learn anything from your science teacher then?”

“Not much,” he answered, looking tired.

“Why is that so, didn’t you pay attention in class?” I sounded rather disappointed.

“I did. But my classmates, those sitting at the back, were so noisy that we could not hear her lessons clearly.”

“What happened next?” I wanted to know.

“The teacher spoke softer than usual and she refused to repeat what she had taught.”

“If that is so, how are you going to sit for your exams on this topic?” I queried him further.

“She asked us to go home and read it up ourselves or ask our parents. So, can you go through the lessons with me tonight?”

“Of course,” I replied, knowing I have no choice but to go through it with him, no matter how uneasy I may feel. 

I realized how wrong I was to rely on other people to explain the mechanics of human reproduction to my kids. They have come of age; it is time they have to know their bodies and their respective functions. Who is a better teacher than a mother to teach her kids about the birds and bees?

“Include your sister too, she needs to learn as much as you do, about the birds and bees,” I added.

After dinner, without wasting any more time, we went straight to the chapter on human reproduction in his science text-book.

First, we studied the male reproductive system. I explained to them the parts and functions of sex glands, sperm duct, testis, scrotum, urethra and penis as were shown in a diagram. Next, we examined the sperm and its function. Also included in this chapter are the physical and emotional changes in boys during puberty.

“Oh, no wonder he have pimples on his forehead, hairs on his armpits and his voice croaks like a toad!” his sister teased him mercilessly.

“You too – you have lots of ugly pimples on your forehead and hairs on your armpits, not only me!” he retorted back, looking crossly at her.

“Okay, no more arguing, both of you have pimples on your foreheads and hairs on certain parts of your bodies now, so it’s fair, right?” I asked, before they got at each other’s throats (did I tell you that a mom has to be a referee too?)

They both sulked but nodded in agreement.

When both of them have calmed down, we proceeded to the female reproductive system. Here, I explained to them what are ovary, fallopian tube, uterus, cervix and vagina which were illustrated in a different diagram. Not to be left out is the ovum and its function as well as the physical and emotional charges in girls during puberty.

“No wonder she is so shy in front of the boys and was attracted to some handsome ones in school!” her brother said, like a sort of taking revenge on his sister for teasing him earlier.

She smiled and kept quiet as her cheeks turned crimson red.

“So far, can both of you follow the lessons?” I asked them patiently.

“Yes!” they both chorused together and I felt relieved.

“Are there any questions or doubts?” I asked further.

“No, it’s easy!” my son answered calmly. His sister smiled shyly.

“Okay, in that case, let’s proceed on to another section – the female menstrual cycle.”

It took some patience to explain to a teenaged boy why a girl bleeds every month. But he got it in the end, so too his sister.

That done, we went to the next section – fertilization and pregnancy. With the help of diagrams, I explained the sequence of how each and every one of us was formed; from the fusion of a single sperm and egg right up to the fetus with all the parts fully formed and ready to be born into the world as a baby.

“See, that’s how both of you were made!” I concluded, glad that I have finally answered Nicholas’ question, ten years later.

“Wow!” was all they could manage when the lesson ended.

“Again, are there any questions or doubts?” I asked.

They looked quite dazed but they shook their heads

“Sure?”

“Yes, but Mom, what’s the meaning of copulation?” my teenaged son asked curiously, pointing to the word in his book.

“Ah, that,” I fumbled awkwardly. How to explain that to them?

“Okay, I will explain that on another day when I gather more information from the net,” I told them. Other related topics were not to be found in the text-book; so I need to look them up.

“Unwanted teenage pregnancies, abortions and family planning will be discussed too,” I said, hoping this will conclude the sex education for my kids and my duty can be considered done!

I am glad I have finally enlightened them on this crucial knowledge. There are certain roles which you cannot delegate to others and this is simply one of them! I found out today that teaching sex education to your kids is not a difficult thing to do, in fact, it can be interesting!