We all love our children or we won’t be having them in the first place, right? Parenting is a tough job (hey, nobody say it is easy) but we must know where to draw the line between love and discipline. Unfortunately, many parents could not and often, they ended up with their children having the upper hand.
Read on to see whether you have committed any of these “crimes”:-
- Simply ask and you shall have it! – Very often, parents have to play fairy godmothers, either to avoid a ruckus in public or as a way to make up for not spending enough time with them at home. From an innocent packet of marshmallows at the candy store, demands can gradually become more sophisticated as the child’s age increases. Soon, they will demand for a mobile phone and later, an ipad because their friends have these and they do not want to be left out.
- I see nothing wrong what! – There are parents who chose to remain silent or feigned indifference when their children uses obscene languages or throw terrible tantrums around. Refusal to reprimand them on the spot or simply turning a blind eye will allow this practice to grow into a habit which will follow them into adulthood.
- Let the maid do it! – Many families have maids now, so their children do not have to lift a finger at home. As a result, a lot of children actually do not know how to tidy up their beds, sweep the floor, wash their plates, button their own shirts or tie their own shoelaces. Later when they go to college, it will be a daily struggle to prepare their own breakfast or wash their own clothes if they stay far away from home.
- It’s their rights! – I have a relative whose children do not like to say “thank you” or “please.” When asked why he did not teach them to do so, he answered, “ I have taught them before but they just don’t listen, so I won’t force them as it is their right not to do things they don’t like!”
- Never mind, mommy will tidy up for you! – Children are not born with the instinct to pick after themselves, hence you will see their toys and books lying everywhere. Picking after them is reasonable when they are still toddlers but it is no longer acceptable to do it for them once they have learned to run and jump! Train them from young to put their own things away properly after use and you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary work later on.
- Eat all you can! – Children’s obesity is on the rise and it’s partly because parents could not bring themselves to stop their children’s eating binge. It is easy to say, “Yes darling, you can have all the chips and nuggets” but you are actually piling empty calories onto your children’s bodies which will harm their health in the long run.
- You’re their walking ATM – Many children do not realize how tough it is for their parents to make a decent living. All they ever knew is that whenever they need money, daddy and mommy will be always be there to provide. Not only they do not value what was given to them, they will take it for granted because they thought you owned them this obligation.
- I’m always on your side, my dear! – When your child came home and told you he just had a fight or quarrel with his friends, you immediately sympathized with him and blamed the other side without finding out the truth. He could be the one who started the fire, you know!
- Up to you! – When you know it is impossible to argue further with your child, you raised the white flag as a short cut and let the case closed. In the end, you let him have his way.
- You’re a spoilt-brat yourself! – One spoilt brat will raise another spoilt-brat. As they said, like father like son or like mother like daughter. That’s how you were raised up and that’s how you will raise up your children too.
These are what I read in a parenting book and would like to share. Any more that you could think of that can help turned your little angels into little Frankenstein?
Kids “grown” from comfi environment will mature late.
I would put the figure at around 30, about 8 years after they started working as an adult.
Hi 16LeechStreet,
I read somewhere that if you do not grow up by 50, you will not grow up even at 80! So be very grateful if the kids finally grew up at 30, which simply means you are a successful parent! 🙂
It would take a herculean effort to be able to practise all of the above.
But it would be worth it, to see your children grow up to be mature and responsible adults.
Hi bkho,
Actually, these are ten things we should avoid if we do not wish to see our kids spoiled. 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Was contemplating on point 6. Before this, me and wifey love to give Kenji boy a lot of things to eat (not junk foods) because we would like to see him chubby. Wifey would be sad when someone commented that Kenji is no longer as chubby as he is before. But now, we just wish him to be healthy and continue to be cheerful in his own way.
Hi Andrew,
From the mother of two kids who are not chubby but very healthy and bubbly – yes, you and wifey are on the right track! 🙂