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Archive for the ‘Confucian tradition’ Category

We are either sons or daughters in the family.

There will come a time when our parents will grow old and become sick. They will required special care. After their deaths, their graves will have to be tended infinitely.

According to Confucian traditions, this is the duty of sons and their wives only. Very clear cut.

Daughters belonged to other families after marriage. Hence, they are not required to come back to care for the sick parents lest they incurred the wrath of their in-laws.

They are also not welcomed at their parent’s graves during Ching Beng or All Soul’s Day for fear of taking away their brother’s good fortune!

What if there is no sons in the family?

Or there is only one son but he did not get married and remained single all his life?

Or he is working in another country and could not come back because he have to earn a living there?

To put it simply, there is not enough males in the family to carry out such duties. In such cases, shouldn’t the daughters step in too?

This question arises last week when my elder brother, the only son in the family, told me that our paternal grandparents’ grave in Batu Gajah had caved in and requires a major repair. Being the only male in the family, the poor guy have to shoulder the responsibility of repairing it. Trust me, such job will require big bucks as Feng Shui is involved. And we also needs a Taoist priest to chant some prayers before work starts.

I thought it is fair for the daughters to help him out but I am not sure if my sisters or their husbands will agree.

What do you think? Is this the job of the son only or the daughter’s as well? Do you think it is okay to go against tradition?

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